Rock Bottom ft. Micah Bournes

from by Emily Joy

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Sometimes it feels like I’m testing The depth of my own depravity.

Dipping my toes in, And then my knees and my chest And my neck and my head Until I’m immersed in my own hypocrisy, And yours,

Because there’s really no difference anymore.

It was a slow sinking, at first, so slow we didn't notice it. We thought it was a shallow puddle, a bit messy of course,

but mud feels nice between your toes,

and we didn't stop there,

we slung it at each other's faces,

then wrestled and rolled until the two of us became one with the mud.

Our laughter turned to gasps for air as we grew tired, and it was no longer enjoyable to push and pull one another.

And the same things I hated you for I did with haste and secrecy, Running back to the vomit of our love To chew it up one more time

Cause I apparently hadn’t had enough Of that vile taste. ....And how deep this evil goes, I don’t know.

We sunk deeper.

Neither of us could believe how we had filthied ourselves,

how we had filthied each other.

We just wanted out, but when we went to stand we realized our playground was made of quicksand. We reached and crawled in opposite directions, but were sucked back into the filth that kept us together.

We sunk deeper.

We flailed and grabbed frantically, hoping to catch hold of something

strong enough to pull us out.

But we only kept catching and clawing each other.

We sunk deeper.

And with each desperate scratch,

we cut deeper.

Blood mixed with dirt,

love mixed with hurt.

We mixed with earth and

we sunk deeper.

But felt much higher Once the love got cheaper. When it no longer cost us to love Then it cost us a lot. Like looters we stole armfuls of each other Thinking we could get away without paying, Only to find our own hearts had been plundered.

Then we tumbled from desperate To hopeless, hitting rock bottom, believing we’d fallen

too far from grace to waste time with repentance. But no one can ever fall from grace,

only deeper into it.

Rock bottom is grace,

The one thing able to keep us from sinking deeper. Rock bottom is grace, And we sunk right into our Savior.


from Dichotomized, released February 1, 2013



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Emily Joy Chicago, Illinois

Emily Joy is a spoken word poet and Midwest native currently residing in Nashville, TN. She makes her living as a freelance writer and traveling poet. Emily is passionate about challenging the status quo of the universe through art and empowering people, especially women, to pursue justice, speak their truths and ask hard questions. ... more

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