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I run a lot. When I'm not pretending to stand still, I'm running. But somehow you God have seen it fit to let me hasten in my race to see how far I can get before you care. Sure - it's a cheap way to test your love, but I just don't believe it when you say you wanna use me. It's easier to flee the scene than it is to let your love spread all over me and leave me broken and finally free - it just hurts. too. much. so. I run. Because you are unattainable and the unknown is so painful and your presence is a force I can't escape, but. I try. And though I feel you look away from me you are not blind, and though I feel you cannot hear me you are not deaf. So tell me why: before I was ever thought of or desired you saw every moment of every day of my life and as my sins passed before your eyes you sighed and said, "Yes! I will use this!" ...God that's cruel. At least, that's the way it seems to me from where I'm running and it seems to be that you're content to just let me get swallowed by the sea. God, deliver me! God, intervene, cause I clearly can't stop running and even my prayers are self-absorbed attempts to save myself with my most holy words. But, despite my most elegant expressions of extollment you will go on doing just what you plan to do, and I cannot change that, I cannot change you! And I'm angry at you for your very nature, gracious and merciful and slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love - and in the most forgiving tones, you cry out to me, "Do you do well to be angry?" And all I can do is clench my fists and scream back, "Yes! Yes I do well to be angry! Angry enough to die!" ...But. I guess I'm still here. Right? Just a speck and I'll take it by your silence and your neglect to acquiesce to my request that you still have something planned that requires the perpetuation of my breath. ...I run a lot. I need some rest.


from Dichotomized, released February 1, 2013



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Emily Joy Chicago, Illinois

Emily Joy is a spoken word poet and Midwest native currently residing in Nashville, TN. She makes her living as a freelance writer and traveling poet. Emily is passionate about challenging the status quo of the universe through art and empowering people, especially women, to pursue justice, speak their truths and ask hard questions. ... more

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